Every wedding is different. Every couple is unique. Having been in the wedding industry for years, I’ve been able to see this first-hand on countless occasions. This statement was actually a major reason why we decided to start this blog a few months ago. Throughout the wedding planning process, there are a lot of decisions to be made. Everything from picking vendors to finalizing the specific details, like a first-look vs traditional photo shoot, it can seem like a daunting task! With this weekly blog, we hope we’re able to break down both sides to every decision, so you can craft your dream wedding!

With all this said, this week on the blog, we’ll be tackling the question of writing your own vows vs reciting traditional vows! All of the food and the decor is great, but without the vows, you don’t really have a wedding! Some couples already have this decided long in advance, while others may still be on the fence as the planning stages progress. Hopefully, these tips will help you reach a final answer!

Are you comfortable reading your own writing in public?

First and foremost, you need to ask yourself whether or not you both feel comfortable reading your own written vows in public. For some people, this may be no problem. With others though, it’s possible to cringe at the thought of doing so. For these couples, reading pre-written vows that aren’t your own specific words can significantly lessen the fear factor. Additionally, you can opt to read your own written vows in private the night before and go with traditional vows on the actual wedding day. There’s certainly no shortage of options, so don’t stress if you’re having trouble deciding!

Are you crunched for time?

Without a doubt, your vows are one of the most emotional pieces to the entire wedding ceremony! When you start reading your vows, what you are doing is reading what you are promising to your partner! These vows are personal to you and definitely something that should be crafted to perfection. If you choose to write your own vows, you’ll want to make sure you take your time, as it will always be an emotional experience.

However, despite this, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that you’ll have your hands plenty full with the entire wedding planning process and your daily life! Finding enough time to put the appropriate amount of thought into them can be challenging. There’s nothing wrong with this! The best piece of advice I can give is if you don’t have time to write the vows that your future spouse deserves, then don’t be ashamed with opting for a traditional approach. Maybe consider adding a personalized touch here and there to bring a unique style to traditional vows.

What’s your partner doing?

I mentioned above that every wedding is unique, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t consider different ideas! With this in mind, you’ll want to see what your partner is doing. Are they using universal vows or are they going to hand-write theirs? While we’ve hosted amazing weddings here in Conroe that featured one of each, it’s another question to consider. 

Remember, weddings are meant as a symbol of unity. What better way is there to create a unified ceremony than having both of you make the same decision? In the end, talk it over with your partner and make sure you’re both comfortable with the decision. You certainly don’t need to bring any added stress on yourself!

Having answered those questions, you’ll likely find yourself getting close to a final decision. However, there’s other positives to each approach that I’d still like to analyze:

Pro’s of Writing Your Own Vows

• Modern Wedding: While this may be considered a “con” for some couples, there’s certainly no shortage of couples wanting a more modern ceremony. A lot of traditional vows may seem like they’re from centuries ago and not appear very unique. If that matches your vision, then writing your own vows may make more sense!

• Perfect Way to Open Up: If you’re going to share the rest of your life with this person, you should probably be able to open up to them, right? Even if it may be tough for some, this is the perfect opportunity to pour your heart out and truly express your feelings! Think of it like a great date where you’re spilling why you love your now-spouse so much!
• Anyone Can Do It: Some people believe in the misconception that you have to be a Pulitzer Prize winner to write the perfect vows and that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Remember, all of the guests in attendance are there to celebrate you and the love between you and your spouse. They don’t care about the exact writing strategies. If it’s from the heart, I can guarantee you they will be perfect!

Pro’s of Traditional Vows

• Perfect If You Have a Fear of Public Speaking: Not everyone is 100% comfortable with speaking in front of a few hundred people, even if it’s on your wedding day. In these situations, it would probably be best to repeat traditional vows from the officiant. The words carry tremendous meaning and immediately represent the love between two individuals.

• Add a Personalized Approach: Just as there’s misconceptions with writing your own vows, the same can be said for traditional vows. One of these is when people think traditional vows are too bland. My best answer to this is to remember that it’s your wedding and you can make it as unique as you’d like. To calm the nerves, a great approach is to add a few personalized lines to traditional vows.
• Tradition: There’s no doubt that some couples stay on the side of tradition for the entire wedding ceremony. In these cases, traditional vows obviously make the most sense. While everyone may know the exact words coming, it’s the emotions from the couple that makes the moment so amazing.

There’s a reason why I put no con’s on this blog post. Going back to the opening lines, “Every wedding is different.” Simply put, there is no correct answer to this debate. Yes, reciting the vows is an incredibly important aspect of a wedding and without it, you arguably don’t even have a wedding. But in what manner you choose to recite them is completely up to you and your spouse. The amazing thing about wedding vows is their ability to be amazing in every format. For those that want to personalize them by writing their own, it will definitely be an emotional experience putting pen to paper. Conversely, there’s a reason why traditional vows have stuck around for so long. They have the ability to display the love between two people without adding stress of reciting your own words. 

Have Your Dream Wedding at Madera!

No matter if you and your spouse are wanting to have traditional vows or write your own, we’re sure you’ll be amazed by our Spanish and European inspired luxury wedding venue in Conroe, Texas! Just hear from some of our past couples that were able to experience Madera by checking out our testimonials HERE. As an all-inclusive wedding venue, we take pride in creating a stress-free planning process that also allows you to customize every detail of your dream wedding day. Whether you live in Conroe, Houston, the Woodlands or anything else, we’d be honored to host your big day here! Book a tour and experience Madera today!